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5 Things I Really Want for Mother’s Day

pillowback1.  My pillow back.

2.  The return of morning sex in this lifetime.  Game of Thrones Spoiler alert: Morning sex with three kids is about as big a surprise as Jon Snow returning from the dead.

3.   A noise cancelling car.  If my kids start screaming from the back seat like bad Steven Tyler impersonators, the car magically goes to mute.

4.  A low-voltage tickle TASER. So that thief in pink PJs will stop stealing my iPhone/alarm clock off my nightstand.
5.  A totally safe microscopic organism that can eat the shit (aka disgusting goldfish cracker medley) out of my car seats without harming my children.  If the organism farts new car scent – even better.
Bonus:  World peace.  Ok, I will start with damn peace and quiet for 10 minutes.
Wishing you a wonderful Mother’s Day this weekend!